Literary Tease http://literarytease.com/blog/ Mind Candy en-us Nucleus CMS v3.24 © Weblog http://backend.userland.com/rss http://literarytease.com/blog//nucleus/nucleus2.gif Literary Tease http://literarytease.com/blog/ Help, Moira Richardson is Chained in a Cellar! http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=63
It's on a website under a message post called "My Most Treasured Possession":

Heading: last year of school

"Text: I went on a date with Moira Richardson and we spent the whole evening kissing with tongue outside the dentist's. She gave me a Human League sticker and I slept with it in my palm all night thinking about her.

I moved away after school, but I still kept a memento of that romantic evening. Not the sticker, which I lost, but Moira. She's chained up in my cellar as I write.

(frankspencer, Fri 9 May 2008, 13:15, closed)"

I assure you that I, Moira Richardson, am not currently chained up in Frank Spencer's cellar, nor have I ever been. I've also never tongue kissed anyone outside of a dentist, and while I may very well have given away a Human League sticker at some point in my past, I'm positive I've never been on a date with anyone named Frank.

I feel bad for the Moira Richardson who is chained up in the cellar, and I'd rescue her if I could, except I never want to meet another Moira, or I'm pretty sure the universe will implode. Sorry, Moira.]]> Etcetera http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=63 Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:42:54 -0500 I heart The Office http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=62


Because I just got this in the mail:



Dorks unite! Thank god I don't have an office job anymore -- not that I didn't love the people I've worked with in offices! As this show so obviously demonstrates, the people working there are the only good thing about working in an office. All the other stuff like eye strain, back ache, extra fat hips from all the delicious food, interoffice politics, sheer mind-numbing boredom... that stuff? Not so great.]]> Culture Shock http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=62 Wed, 3 Sep 2008 14:03:21 -0500 Freelance Success in Rhode Island http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=61 Campus Connection columns linked on
the main page of Providence Online. The story was published in June, so I have no idea how long it's been linked on the site. Very cool. Here's a direct link to the article: When Statues Come to Life.

My writing career is really flourishing here in Providence. My move to Rhode Island was definitely the smartest thing I've ever done. It was hard to leave everything I knew behind me in Pennsylvania and step forth into the unknown, but it was definitely the right choice. I'm currently writing freelance for three magazines: Campus Connection, the Newport Mercury, and Providence Monthly. I'm also doing some paid blogging for College On The Record. My portfolio is strong at this point, and my next step is to start pitching to the big guys, like Rhode Island Monthly and other glossy mags.

I'm also teaching jewelry classes in a few afterschool programs during the school year, selling my jewelry in a local art gallery, and holding periodic jewelry sales in my front yard (a misnomer really... front concrete in more accurate). I have three fabulous roommates, a super awesome landlord, and a cute artist boyfriend to boot. Life is grand!]]> Writing Craft http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=61 Tue, 2 Sep 2008 10:21:16 -0500 Learning To Love You More http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=60 Learning to Love You More. Here's the details:

Learning to Love You More is both a web site and series of non-web presentations comprised of work made by the general public in response to assignments given by artists Miranda July and Harrell Fletcher. Yuri Ono designs and manages the web site.

Participants accept an assignment, complete it by following the simple but specific instructions, send in the required report (photograph, text, video, etc), and see their work posted on-line. Like a recipe, meditation practice, or familiar song, the prescriptive nature of these assignments is intended to guide people towards their own experience.

Since Learning To Love You More is also an ever-changing series of exhibitions, screenings and radio broadcasts presented all over the world, participant's documentation is also their submission for possible inclusion in one of these presentations. Past presentations have taken place at venues that include The Whitney Museum in NYC, Rhodes College in Memphis, TN, Aurora Picture Show in Houston, TX, The Seattle Art Museum in Seattle, WA, the Wattis Institute in San Francisco CA, among others.

Since LTLYM inception in 2002 over 5000 people have participated in the project.


The current assignment is:

Assignment #68
Feel the news.

Go to http://www.democracynow.org/streampage.pl and watch the current show. When the segment is over, choose someone from the news who made an impression on you. Imagine that you are them, and act out a moment of their day today. Choose an ordinary moment, one without dialogue, when they are alone - maybe the moment after they hang up the phone, or before they go to sleep. It doesn't matter what they are doing, only that you try to feel what it feels like to be them today, given what you know about their life right now. Take a picture of this moment, with the help of a self-timer or a friend. Don't bother dressing up like them, don't worry if you aren't the same race or gender as them. (And don't choose going to the bathroom, everyone else will do that.) Send the caption for the photo in an email - it should include the relevant news, for example:

Monday, August 13, 2007: After Resigning as Presidential Advisor, Carl Rove Looks into The Refrigerator

Or: Monday, August 13, 2007: Kim Kyung-ja, One of Two South Korean Hostages Freed In Afghanistan Today, Takes Off Her Shoes

Learning to Love You More]]> Culture Shock http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=60 Sat, 30 Aug 2008 12:23:08 -0500 With a huge smile on my face http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=59

For Prince Seaweed...]]> Lovey Dovey http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=59 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:01:44 -0500 Future Accordion Star At Your Service http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=58


That's right. Lesson numero uno for ye olde squeezebox was yesterday, and I LOVE it! I was practicing on my front porch today, and my neighbor said I sounded like I'd been playing for a while. Deceptive, yes, but encouraging nonetheless! One of these days I'll be performing on a street corner near you.]]> Etcetera http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=58 Sat, 9 Aug 2008 18:42:49 -0500 Like Free Movies? Me too! http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=57 Starting August 2nd

Love movies? So do we! Join us in our Vinton Street backyard for screenings every Saturday night and some Fridays. Movies start at sundown. Bring a blanket or a chair and bring your friends. Donations of snacks, cash, or grilling supplies will be gladly accepted... we’re not rich. Help us enrich our community by participating in these fun weekend events!

August 1 - Futuristic Flicks, 80’s Style
Go back, way back, with Back to the Future. Follow the adventures of Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) and Dr. Emmett Brown as they drive through time. How many BTTF flicks can you stand? Find out tonight.

August 9 - Superhero Night
Come dressed as your favorite superhero and watch our screening of X-Men. Based on the comic book series, this movie features powerful mutants in cool costumes. Wear a superhero costume and be eligible to win a cool prize!

Special Friday Night Screening
August 15 - Indy Artist Night
Local filmmaker Mike Messier presents his short film Sacrilege. As host of the long-standing cable access show, The Mike Messier Show, Mike has interviewed local celebrities as well as The Suicide Girls, metal band Skid Rose, and pro wrestling cult icon The Sandman. If we’re lucky, Mike’s screening might include additional footage such as his animated film Schtick Man or some TV episodes.

August 16 - The Godfather!
Join us as we watch The Godfather. With a blockbuster cast, The Godfather chronicles the life of the Italian-American Corleone crime family. And you know the food tonight will be Italian.

August 23 - Mel’s Pick
Our roommate Melany is out of town as I’m working out this schedule, so I haven’t been able to ask her for input. Tonight is Mel’s pick. What will she choose? Stop by at sunset to find out!

Special Friday Night Screening
August 29 - Japanese Anime Night
Ryan says, “If you plan on watching in English, you will be banned from our backyard!” ‘Nuff said.

August 30 - Rocky Horror Night
It’s just a jump to the left, Janet, but it’s the pelvic thrusts that will really drive you insane. Cult classic with cabaret-style music, the Rocky Horror Picture Show is a fantastic adventure in madness, Tim Curry-style. Dress the part, and be eligible to win a most astounding prize!

September Schedule - To Be Determined - Vote for your favorite movies and themes at www.literarytease.com - Possible themes include: Sci-Fi, Horror, Chick Flicks, Man Movies, YouTube Favorites, Foreign, Sundance Picks, and, of course, Indiana Jones.
]]> Community http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=57 Sun, 27 Jul 2008 00:44:24 -0500 Heroin... or Death? http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=56
"Welcome to the site timothystuff dot com, it's us again, now we extended our offerings,

here is a list:

1. Heroin, in liquid and crystal form.

2. Rocket fuel and Tomohawk rockets (serious enquiries only).

3. Other rockets (Air-to-Air), orders in batches of 10.

4. New shipment of cocaine has arrived, buy 9 grams and get 10th for free.

5. We also offer gay-slaves for sale, we offer only such service on the NET,
you can choose the one you like, then get straight to business.

6. Fake currencies, such as Euros and US dollars, prices would match competition.

Everyone is welcome, be it in States or any other place worldwide.

ATTENTION. Clearance offer. Buy 30 grams of heroin, get 5 free.

Prepay your batch of rockets (air-to-air) and recieve a portable rocket-lacuncher
for free.

Transfer money to our account and call phone number below:

Bank name: Five Star Bank
Account: 751244384
ACH Routing: 022304030

Contact us NOW:
1-585-991-3301
1-585-237-3346

----

If you think you are receiving this message in an error - call here to unsubscribe - 1-585-237-3346

You can buy it from my local address:
12 Genesee St,
Perry,
NY 14530

Best R,
Timothy Sinclair Stuff."

Rampant misspellings aside, I was thrilled to know that I could buy both liquid and crystal heroin, tomahawk missiles, and gay sex slaves all from the same dealer. Screw all that calling around, I'm going straight to Timothy for all my, uh, stuff.

Yeah. Right. I immediately dismissed the email as some sort of weirdo spam and ignored it. Only, a few hours later, I got this one from the same person:

"I am very sorry for you Moira, is a pity that this is how your life is
going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see there is no need
of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you,
my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have to do it
as I have already been paid for that.

But I give you a chance. Call my neighbor 315-678-2789 and say password "there is time to save my skin" and if that would sound convincing, I will forget about you.

Tell him this password for Timothy Sinclair (be sure it is not my real name).

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE
BECAUSE I WILL KNOW."

Freaky, right? Lucky for me, I'm currently out of the state, so even if Timothy "Killer" Sinclair showed up at my house looking to put a hit on my ass, he'd find only my roomies (sorry, guys!) and my cat.

At first, I racked my brain trying to think of who might be angry enough with me to pay a hitman. Was it my fella, annoyed at not being able to hit this until I got back to Providence? Nah, that didn't make sense... he coulda spend his dime on a pros instead of a killer. Had someone overhead me talking shit on his or her ass and decided to end my gossipy ways once and for all? Maybe, just maybe, that fella from whom I stole an accordion before screaming at him over the phone that he was, and I quote, a "junky asshole" managed to scrounge up enough cash to order the hit? Nah... he's way too cheap for that.

So, I thought, duh, google the asshole.

Apparently some sort of Independence Day prank, Mr. Timothy Stuff Sinclair, has been sending out these emails all day. Respondents on Whocalled.us have determined that the sicko hacked into Monster.com and used that information to send out these rather scary emails.

Anyone else out there get it? Seems a lot of people on the net did. Chances are that enough people out there have already reported this email to get the sender in some serious trouble, but you can report the incident to both the Internet Crime Complaint Center and your local FBI office:

FBI Boston
Suite 600
One Center Plaza
Boston, Massachusetts 02108
boston.fbi.gov
(617) 742-5533

Or, you could just call the phone numbers listed in the ad from a blocked number and have a little fun of your own. Your call.]]> Culture Shock http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=56 Fri, 4 Jul 2008 22:39:09 -0500 Celebrity Circus http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=55
If you've missed the show, you can watch the episodes on NBC's website.

Damn, lucky I decided to do a little research before I praised the show for its brilliant tongue-in-cheek critique of both reality television and celebrities in general, since the American version of this show is actually a knock-off of the original Australian version which aired in 2005 as well as a British version from 2007. Are there no original ideas left?

No worries, the show is still brilliant... so brilliant, in fact, that I bloody well should have known that it was a rip-off. Then again, NBC has done this before: The Office, another spectacular show, was a British show tweaked for American viewers. I've seen both and prefer the American version. Though I'm British by birthright, I'm American by upbringing so I suppose that shows in my tastes, eh?]]> Culture Shock http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=55 Tue, 1 Jul 2008 13:42:27 -0500 Weed Whackers Are Way Wicked http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=54
"Next time, sir, kindly leave the weedwhacker at home."

Naturally, I was greatly amused by the whole situation.

Today, upon hearing there was an "incident" in downtown Greensburg, I was researching and came across this news story:

W.Pa man charged in weed whacker assault:

"Sixty-seven-year-old Gary Wright, of Southwest Greensburg, is charged with simple assault, recklessly endangerment and disorderly conduct.

Police say neighbor William Bell told Wright to get off his property on May 23 and Wright hit him in the arm with the tool. Bell's wife says the weed-whacker going full-speed and Bell put his hand up to stop it from hitting his face."

Could it possibly be the same man? The writer in me says, "Yes!"]]> Culture Shock http://literarytease.com/blog/index.php?itemid=54 Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:26:46 -0500